Thursday, August 30, 2007
I think blogging is stupid. Not always. Not when people are reading the blog. Or the blog becomes really hip, and it's the first thing that comes up on google when you enter a persons name. But like everything else, 99% of it is utter dreck.
Now I started this blog a few years ago before my mom started her blog, and to be honest, I really didn't get the point. But that was all before I read this, and I realized just how vital blogging is.
So, now I'm back. And I promise to be funny. Promise. I'm not even going to tell anyone that I'm blogging until I've started to write really funny things, and pithy observations about LA or New York or Cleveland. I'll wax poetically about the best place to find a Knish in Portland. I'll wow you with stories of my cats almost unnatural emotional attachment to me. It will be one of those blogs...like the superfical.com. Oh, if only. If only I cared about anything...Then I could really write.
Currently the red sox are doing all they can to be swept by the Yankees. It's a Greek tragedy that rivalry. I should ask. Do NYers even consider it a rivalray? Or more like a pesky (pun intended) insect that buzzes around for the spring and summer only to be squashed in September. I was just in New York, so I should have asked.
Oh. This blog, if I actually get around to writing it, will most likely be a commentary on arts and entertainment. Like I'll review a movie and CD each week. That would be smart. Maybe Chuck Klosterman will read it and think, "God, this guy is a GENIUS!" and give me a job. That would be good, as there is another Schaffer about to clutter up the planet, and having some means of providing for him/her would be good. Although were Mr. Klosterman to proclaim my genius, I would have to politely refute his assesment, and admit that I am only an Immense Talent. Not actually a genius. I've met a genius or two (see how I avoided the plural form? Clever) and I am not one. As low functioning as I am, I am not as bad as a genius. I've never imported sand into my house so it can feel like the beach while I write songs that will probably not make it on to a record.
Commenting on entertainment. Or writing about it. I don't really know how I could stretch a record review beyond ten or twelve words. I'll probably write things like "Billy Corgan should stop playing all together, because he's utterly irrelevant". But then I'd feel bad. Because I've seen him a couple times and he's actually a genuinely talented dude. Maybe that's why music critics write good reviews of bad music. They're just too darned nice. If you go to www.metacrititc.com, you will see reviews of all forms of entertainment (making your humble narrator's blog totally obsolete, but that's another matter entirely). Generally the green (good), yellow (okay) and red (not good) color coding is equally distributed. But the music section constists of about 90% good reviews and 10% bad. If I had a research assistant, I could have parlayed that into a funny joke, but such is the life of the low-budget blogger. The point is, music critics are WAY too nice. That may be because they don't like being mean to bands that they once liked, or bands that are on a label with bands that they do like. You can't talk shit about a Matador band, because you can kiss that Pizzicatto Five box set goodbye.
But not me. I'll talk shit. And what can they do?
What the fuck is up with the fucking Red Sox? What is this thing about the Yankees? Must we get swept at the end of the season every fucking year? I really don't get it. They're like our big brother that we dare not challenge. Drives me up the wall.
Anyway, What are they gonna do? I don't care. I'm just a shit talking blogger. My music career is over. (Maybe) And even though I'm not that tough, I'm not really afraid of the members of Maroon 5 coming ot kick my ass because I called them this decades Level 42. That's just the way it is.
Movies are even easier, becuase you're insulting a huge team of people and a multi-national corporation. They truly would give a monkey's about some blogger.
So, we'll see. If I have the spare cash to see a movie or buy a cd, and I compile enough funny material. This could become the hippest blog since that fat queen Perez Hilton started his lame ass site.
later
Z
Now I started this blog a few years ago before my mom started her blog, and to be honest, I really didn't get the point. But that was all before I read this, and I realized just how vital blogging is.
So, now I'm back. And I promise to be funny. Promise. I'm not even going to tell anyone that I'm blogging until I've started to write really funny things, and pithy observations about LA or New York or Cleveland. I'll wax poetically about the best place to find a Knish in Portland. I'll wow you with stories of my cats almost unnatural emotional attachment to me. It will be one of those blogs...like the superfical.com. Oh, if only. If only I cared about anything...Then I could really write.
Currently the red sox are doing all they can to be swept by the Yankees. It's a Greek tragedy that rivalry. I should ask. Do NYers even consider it a rivalray? Or more like a pesky (pun intended) insect that buzzes around for the spring and summer only to be squashed in September. I was just in New York, so I should have asked.
Oh. This blog, if I actually get around to writing it, will most likely be a commentary on arts and entertainment. Like I'll review a movie and CD each week. That would be smart. Maybe Chuck Klosterman will read it and think, "God, this guy is a GENIUS!" and give me a job. That would be good, as there is another Schaffer about to clutter up the planet, and having some means of providing for him/her would be good. Although were Mr. Klosterman to proclaim my genius, I would have to politely refute his assesment, and admit that I am only an Immense Talent. Not actually a genius. I've met a genius or two (see how I avoided the plural form? Clever) and I am not one. As low functioning as I am, I am not as bad as a genius. I've never imported sand into my house so it can feel like the beach while I write songs that will probably not make it on to a record.
Commenting on entertainment. Or writing about it. I don't really know how I could stretch a record review beyond ten or twelve words. I'll probably write things like "Billy Corgan should stop playing all together, because he's utterly irrelevant". But then I'd feel bad. Because I've seen him a couple times and he's actually a genuinely talented dude. Maybe that's why music critics write good reviews of bad music. They're just too darned nice. If you go to www.metacrititc.com, you will see reviews of all forms of entertainment (making your humble narrator's blog totally obsolete, but that's another matter entirely). Generally the green (good), yellow (okay) and red (not good) color coding is equally distributed. But the music section constists of about 90% good reviews and 10% bad. If I had a research assistant, I could have parlayed that into a funny joke, but such is the life of the low-budget blogger. The point is, music critics are WAY too nice. That may be because they don't like being mean to bands that they once liked, or bands that are on a label with bands that they do like. You can't talk shit about a Matador band, because you can kiss that Pizzicatto Five box set goodbye.
But not me. I'll talk shit. And what can they do?
What the fuck is up with the fucking Red Sox? What is this thing about the Yankees? Must we get swept at the end of the season every fucking year? I really don't get it. They're like our big brother that we dare not challenge. Drives me up the wall.
Anyway, What are they gonna do? I don't care. I'm just a shit talking blogger. My music career is over. (Maybe) And even though I'm not that tough, I'm not really afraid of the members of Maroon 5 coming ot kick my ass because I called them this decades Level 42. That's just the way it is.
Movies are even easier, becuase you're insulting a huge team of people and a multi-national corporation. They truly would give a monkey's about some blogger.
So, we'll see. If I have the spare cash to see a movie or buy a cd, and I compile enough funny material. This could become the hippest blog since that fat queen Perez Hilton started his lame ass site.
later
Z
